And that is unfortunate. Because it's not.
Now don't get me wrong. If any of the men in my life are in need of a good verbal bashing, they know I am fully equipped and ready to give it to them. But I would also expect the same in return. Everyone needs reeled back in and called on their "crazy" now and then.
I think as females, however, we really should stand up for and cheer on our fellow gals. And I'm not sure that it is done enough. In fact, I think it's something quite special when a lady can express genuine happiness at another female's achievements. It's so easy to get caught up in the competition of life and career and whatnot. But as females, when one of us succeeds, I really think we all do.
I'm lucky in my life that I have had a lot of strong, confident ladies that have set a good example of the kind of woman I want to be. My grandmother passed away in 2009, but I had many years to learn from her. She was a feisty woman who would go to battle for you. By god, she'd win, too. Come hell or high water. Then she'd come home and make the best darn wedding soup I've ever tasted. Sometimes on our show I find myself thinking, "That sounds like something Gran would have said." And while I hope I have just a little more filter, I think she would be proud of her granddaughter if she could tune in for just one more day.
My mother, although she'd never want the accolades, has taught me so many great lessons on how to be a lady. She taught me that the right shade of lipstick will keep you from "looking dead". And I have to agree. Everyone knows I never am without a tube because as Mom also says, "You never know who you're going to meet." (And you certainly wouldn't want them to think you're dead, after all.)
Beyond the lipstick lessons, she taught me compassion and fairness. I remember one election, way back in school, that I wanted to win so badly. Yet, I lost out to a friend of mine. I got off the bus, wiping away tears and my Mom said, "But just think how happy she is today. If you had won, she might be crying. You can't be the best at everything, but you can always cheer on your friends." I never realized how wise of a woman she was until many years later.
But she also wasn't a push-over (even with her impeccable make-up). And she wasn't raising one, either. Another Momism that I vividly remember to this day: "I better never hear that you started a fight with someone. But if someone starts one with you, ya better finish it. Just ball up your fist and punch them as hard as you can, right square in the nose."
I can honestly say I never did get the opportunity to throw a punch to anyone's nostrils, which I'm fairly certain is a good thing. But in first grade, I did kick my neighbor in the face when he tried to look up my skirt. (Sorry Nathan. But in all reality, had my hand been closer to you than my foot, you probably would have been my first.)
But being a strong woman isn't about beating up bullies on the playgrounds of life. It's about knowing who you are and not being afraid to get what you want out of life. It's about thanking the people who have helped you achieve those things. And helping others get there, too.
Along the way I have been extremely fortunate to be surrounded by such kind, caring, confident, and strong women. Relatives, friends, and co-workers have all influenced my life in one way or another and I hope to have done the same for you. Even those of you that I've technically never met.
I met a fan last summer. She came up to me at an event and said that she and her daughter listen to our show every morning. She told me that her daughter was 12. She wasn't with her at the time or I am sure her daughter would have been thoroughly embarrassed when I offered to sign some t-shirts for them. A few days later, I received a note in the mail at the studio.
I've never forgotten what it said. She wrote:
I have nieces, younger cousins, and daughters of friends that look up to me. And this little girl whom I may never meet (but I hope still thinks I'm cool enough to wear an autographed t-shirt). So if I can pass these things along to them:
Be kind. Be supportive. Be generous with your time to those that deserve it. Be firm in what you believe in. Work hard. Try things. And fail at them. I've failed at a lot of things. But that's how you figure out what you're good at. Be proud once you find those few things that you can do really well. But never so proud that you look down at those who can't. Never let jealousy be a reason you want something. Want things because you want to be a better person and because you want to be happy. Push yourself. And most importantly, get behind people and push. Because a helping hand makes all of us a lot stronger.
THE STAR 98's LADIES ONLY SHOW
aired on April 10, 2015 on Star 98.
With Steve Davis on vacation, Laura McKenna opened up the co-hosting seat to many different female guests throughout the morning. Below are the wonderful gals who made the cut to spread a little more Girl Power on the radio that morning with Laura.
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